Humour in Uniform

 Jamaican tales

Only in Jamaica, you'll have police cars parked at some rum bar!
Only in Jamaica, can a thief hold you up and ask you to walk with more money next time!
Only in Jamaica, citizens have to protect police from gunmen!
Only in Jamaica, you can report a crime-in-progress and the police tell you to stop interrupting the domino match!

 Tax(ing) the police

Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policemen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.
"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket."
Amazed, the driver asked for what.
The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."

 Under watchful eyes

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says, "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered, "Well, I have contacts."
The policeman replied, "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"

 Irish humour

What did an Irish policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!

 Wedding Blues

A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say," "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding... He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

 It happens only in India

A Director Inspector General (DIG) and a Commandant of the Armed Police were relaxing in the lounge. The conversation turned towards their orderlies a short while later. Each one claimed that his orderly was a fool. The two decided to compare. The commandant called for his orderly and said, "Ram Singh here is a ten rupee note (a small denomination), go and purchase an Ambassador car from the market right now and bring it here.
"Right Sir", said the orderly. He took the note from the officer saluted and went back. Then the DIG called his orderly and told him, "Prem Singh, go to my office and see whether I'm sitting there or not. "Right Sir", the orderly said and went back. The two officers had a hearty laugh not realising that the orderlies were talking outside. Ram Singh was saying, "Prem Singh, look at my stupid boss he doesn't even know that the market is closed today and the car cannot be bought. "And look at my boss Ram Singh, he wants me to go and see whether he is in his office or not. Why can't he ring up and find out. I've never seen such a lazy officer in my life."