Humour in Uniform

  Costume Party

A newly recruited Irish policeman arrested a judge who was dressed up as a convict to go to a party: Later the policeman learned you should never book a judge by his cover!!

The ultimate murder mystery

The local county sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?""11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and tomorrow."

He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."

"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"

So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant.

"It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"

Undercover

A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?" "No, I am an undercover detective." "So why are you in uniform?" "Today is my day off."

 Knotty story

A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window... "Pull over! "No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"

Irish Possessed                                                                                         

Man runs out of a West Belfast (Ireland) pub with his arms on fire. Police catch him and charge him with having a firearm.

Honesty doesn't always pay

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot,' the man shouted, 'That's not what I said!'