Humour in Uniform

A blonde police officer pulls over a blonde in a convertible sports car for speeding. She walks over to the car and asks the blonde driver for some I.D. The blonde convertible driver searches through her purse in vain.

Finally she asks, "What does it look like?" The blonde police officer tells her, "It's that thing with your picture on it."

The blonde driver searches for a few more seconds, pulls out her compact, opens it, and sure enough sees her picture. She hands the compact to the blonde cop.

The blonde cop looks at the compact for a few seconds, then rolls her eyes, hands the compact back to the blonde convertible driver, and says, "If you had told me you were a police officer when I first pulled you over we could have avoided this whole thing."

A tortoise went in to a police station. He said, "I have been mugged." The police officer asked who had mugged him. The tortoise replied 'A snail'. The police officer asked, "Can you give us a description?" and the tortoise replied, "No, it all happened so quickly!"

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.                    

A car was driving down the street when suddenly it started swerving. The car was going back and forth until someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. The driver rolls down the window and says, "Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

There is this one about a police officer who came back with a beautiful and huge trophy from an international conference. "What have you got the trophy for?" he was asked. "Well, we were discussing the efficiency of the police forces in solving crimes. The American FBI said they could fish out important clues about a crime within 30 minutes. The Canadians said they could do so in 20. "What are you talking about," I said, "The Punjab Police knows who is going to commit a crime even before it is committed."

Three girls, a blonde, a brunette, and a red-head, are driving down the road, speeding. They pass a cop, who quickly begins chasing them with his lights on. The brunette (who's driving) tells the others about the cop signalling for them to pull over. The blonde finds three burlap sacks in the floor of the car and has a sudden brain-blast. She instructs the brunette to speed up and lose the cop by a couple of miles. When the police car is out of sight, the blonde says, "Pull over!" Once they've stopped, the blonde quickly explains her plans and they all jump out of the car and get into the sacks and lay down, beside the road. The policeman finally catches up to the stopped car and gets out. He walks up to the first sack, with the brunette in it, and kicks it. The brunette says, "Meeow!" The cop thinks...hmm, that must be a sack full of kittens. He walks up to the next sack, with the red-head in it and kicks it. The red-head says, "Woof Woof!" The cop thinks...hmm, that must be a sack full of puppies. He walks up to the last sack, with the blonde in it and kicks it and the blonde says, "Potatoes."

Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.